It’s Super Bowl Sunday and us as American citizens have an obligation to watch the Super Bowl, eat some incredible food and of course, drink a shitload of beers.
Want to drown yourself in booze so you don’t remember Tom Brady hoisting his SIXTH Lombardi? Well, us at the Roto Street Journal are here to help.
Tip: There are a lot of rules, so print this out and pass this sheet out to everyone at your party and maybe assign a section of a few rules to each person.
Drink one gulp when:
- The Patriots run out of the tunnel as a team *tear streams down face*
- A player visibly cries during the National Anthem
- Roger Goodell is shown on TV
- Mahky Mahk Wahlberg or Bon Jovie is shown
- Jeffery Laurie (Eagles owner) is shown
- Jonathan and Robert Kraft are shown together
- The Rocky Statue is shown
- Malcolm Jenkins says he went to “THE” Ohio State University
- Cris Collinsworth brags about playing in a Super Bowl
- Jim Schwartz and Bill Belichick is shown from their days in Cleveland
- Brady and Belichick’s “8th Super Bowl appearance” is mentioned
- A ball carrier signals the “first down” motion with his arm/hand
- Either team records 25-plus yards on a play
- Brandin Cooks gains 15-plus yards on a reception
- Danny Amendola gains first down yardage
- Nelson Agholor gains first down yardage
- Malcolm Butler is burnt in coverage
- Corey Clement records a reception
- James White records a reception
- Rob Gronkowski’s concussion is mentioned
Drink two gulps when:
- Tom Brady screams “LETS GO!” (you also have to change your pants after)
- Chris Hogan playing lacrosse in college is mentioned
- Chris Long and any of his family members are mentioned in the same sentence
- Super Bowl 39 is mentioned
- Rutgers is mentioned
- Patriots trading Jimmy Garoppolo is mentioned
- Jay Ajayi’s time with the Dolphins is mentioned
- Donald Trump and Robert Kraft or Bill Belichick or Tom Brady are mentioned in the same sentence
- Al Michaels mentions it’s Josh McDaniels’ and Matt Patricia’s final game in New England
- Gisele is shown on TV
- “The Two Bills” is mentioned
- Justin Timberlake sings “Sexy Back”
- Ernie Adams wins a replay review for Bill Belichick
- The sweet ‘pylon cam‘ view is used
- Carson Wentz is shown
- A white Patriots pass catcher scores a touchdown
- Tom Brady gains a first down on a QB sneak
- Danny Amendola or Brandin Cooks carry the ball on a reverse
- Tom Brady complains to a referee
- An interception is dropped by either team
- Fletcher Cox records a sack
- Trey Flowers records a sack
- LeGarrette Blount rumbles in for a touchdown
- Either team runs a Flea-Flicker
- Chris Hogan gains 15-plus yards on a reception
- Alshon Jeffery gains 15-plus yards on a reception
- Danny Amendola records a clutch third down reception or a touchdown
- Stephon Gilmore or Jalen Mills is flagged for a penalty
- Seth Wickersham’s article is mentioned
- An extra point is missed
- A punt is downed within the opponent’s 10 yard line
Chug when:
- Pink omits a word during the National Anthem
- A defensive or special teams touchdown is scored
- “Annoying little pissant” is mentioned
- Tom Brady or Bill Belichick and the word “turmoil” is mentioned in the same sentence
- Tom Brady spikes the football in the end zone
- Tom Brady hoists the Lombardi Trophy
Take a shot when:
- A player kneels during the National Anthem
- “NippleGate” is mentioned or a highlight of Janet Jackson’s tit is shown
- Donald Trump or a Trump Tweet is shown on TV
- Al Michaels mentions the spread or hints knowledge of the spread or a prop bet
- Nick Foles hoists the Lombardi Trophy
- Tom Brady kisses one of his children on the mouth
- Robert Kraft is visibly drunk on stage
Run a naked lap/ drown in your tears when:
- Tom Brady or Bill Belichick announce their retirement after the game
Have fun and call out of work on Monday!
