Stream of Gut Talent Tier 2 (Picks 2-6) - Roto Street Journal
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Stream of Gut Talent Tier 2 (Picks 2-6)

Previously, in Stream of Gut:

Tier 1 

  1. Antonio Brown

 

It’s been 3 hours, and there’s still thunderous heaves coming out of my bathroom. Either there’s an exorcism going on, or Sailor J requires some immediate medical attention.

Unfortunately, I’m in no condition to breathe air, never mind get out of my bed and help him out. My concern for J and my head pain are growing at exponentially equal rates, so he’ll be in this battle with his liver alone.

Last night, we thought we still had it. This morning is a glaring reminder that no, at 27, we in fact don’t

.rsj life alert

Of course, there’s only one logical next step to a hangover this brutal: Continuing the “Stream of Gut,” and ranking my next tier of fantasy players.

Talent Tier 2 – Who should be The Robin to AB’s Batman?

Earlier this offseason I wrote a post detailing why David Johnson deserved consideration at #2 overall. I didn’t make this  bold claim only to abandon it, and I still firmly believe he presents the most legitimate case at this point of the offseason.

Yet, there are plenty of other players that present strong arguments to go after AB. This became more and more apparent the as I ranked players. Depending on how coaching changes (ODell), health (Le’veon), or surrounding talent upgrades (DeAndre) pan out, the group below represents the tier of players I felt have very worthy cases to go #2.

Talent Tier 2 – “Legit claims to be Antonio’s Robin”

2. David Johnson

Why I should go #2: “You’ve kindly made my case for me already, in great depth. Thanks Wolf.

But to reiterate: I’m an explosive, powerful, three-down horse that’ll touch the ball 20+ a week in a highly explosive offense. Only Le’veon profiles similarly, but he’s coming of MCL Surgery and seems to always get dinged up.”

Why you could pass me up: “Sure, I could be considered unproven, and there’s a possibility  I’ll breakdown under the massive workload Coach Arians is about to feed me. I did miss a little time in college. This does make me a bit of a risk.

If I do make it through 16 games, no one at the RB position will offer as much upside. That type of potential separation from a lackluster pack makes me worth the risk.”

David Johnson goes for a pound but The Wolf goes for a high five, and melts into a puddle of embarrassment.

Until OBJ comes raging up the stairs…

 

3. Odell Beckham Jr.

Why I should go #2: “Man, Wolf, you’re seriously ranking some unproven sophomore above me?! You’re still bitter about me getting suspended in Week 16 and costing you The Fez, aren’t you?” Wolf, with a deep pout face, pauses and then nods head

“Man, let bygones be bygones. Are you so quick to forget how I carried your dogshit team to a title just one year ago with my historic rookie season? When I was the more explosive Antonio Brown who dominated all levels of the field, and who no defensive coordinators had an answer for?” Wolf slightly eases on the pout, but his face reddens as he shakes his head no.

“Well make sure you remember it. Because that type of Rookie Season, where I was force fed targets and routinely put up 150+ yards, 2+ TDs, is about to return. Ben McAdoo’s promotion to head honcho is big, he’s my boy and he’ll make sure to chuck the ball my way at least 10 times a game and scheme to get me open. 2014 all over again. No more Coughlin to rein me in, McAdoo will keep his foot on the gas pedal all year.

2016 will mark The Return of Rookie Year Savage OBJ. don’t let your bitterness cost you my services.”

Wolf sits in deep thought, pondering if this hangover will ever leave, and if OBJ’s right in his argument that a rookie season type of usage and performance could return. There’s no higher ceiling in Fantasy Football if that’s the case…

Why you could pass me up: “OK I get the emotion. I have plenty, and it cost you a championship win. Hell, I’m still battling with Norman on Twitter.” Wolf gives ODell that “see, this is what I’m worried about” stare.

“Oh, c’mon can’t a guy just be competitive? OK, OK I get it. This is proof I can sometimes taken out of the game mentally (fuck you Norman!), and yes coordinators also seemed to have a better answer for my greatness last season too. It kept me from being the dominant, record-setting force I was as a rookie. If you’re getting sophomore ODell, I can’t blame you for the #3 spot.”

Wolf whispers something to ODell.

“My hair?! That’s the real reason I’m here at #3? Man I didn’t look like a llama or a Suess character, get outta here with that shit before I whoop your doughy ass.”

Wolf tries to run, but remains too hungover to do so.  Doughy Ass-whooping indeed ensues, but hopefully ODell will think twice about his hair. 

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A rather stoic DeAndre Hopkins appears, and tells OBJ to lay off. The Giants wideout gets one last bitch slap in, before leaving DeAndre to state his piece. The Texan is far calmer and more articulate, and begins to list his many points.

4. DeAndre Hopkins 

 

Bill O’Brien Thinks Having Brock Osweiler Could Make DeAndre Hopkins Even Better

Why I Should Go #2: “You’re my boy, Brock! But in all seriousness, Wolf, I deserve your highest consideration at #2 because of the stability Mr. Osweiler will provide at QB.

Yes, I know you’re not a diehard Osweiler supporter, he indeed is still unproven.

Yet consider, Wolf, that in a season filled with the Hoyers, Weedens, Mallets, and a-thing-called-Yates of the world, I still put up 111 catches, 1,521 yards, and 11 TDs. I am truly QB-proof, something not even your #1 boy Antonio can say after sputtering with Vick & Landry at the helm. The floor is the highest in the NFL, and gives me a legit case for #2.

And that’s before you even consider my new ceiling. Let’s keep in mind the aforementioned gaggle of QBs throwing to me last year, and then read this line from NFL.com’s Combine Profile on my boy Brock: “His shining asset is his arm strength; he can hit nearly any NFL-caliber throw at this point in his career.”

Now consider, I’m the NFL’s best at high pointing a ball and adjusting my body midair. Gumby actually is my biological father. With my ball skills, QBs simply need to put the ball somewhere in my vicinity, and I’ll do the rest.

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Brock’ll able to deliver the mail more accurately and across all levels of the field better than any QB I’ve played with yet.  I’ll be a terror in the red zone, down the sidelines, and over the middle with this guy.

Finally, I’m well aware of my flaws. Despite my talents at winning jump balls and making absurdly acrobatic catches, I’m well aware I ranked 118th in the NFL with only 201 yards after the catch. As I told the Houston Chronicle:

“There’s a lot that I need to improve on, YAC, which I finished last in…There’s a lot of things I can get better at as an individual, knowing where defenders are, having a better awareness. Those are things I can work on.”

So just to sum this all up for you: I’m getting an immense quarterback upgrade, I’m among the best in the NFL along the sidelines and in the red zone, and I’m maturely self-aware and dedicated to improve my craft. My floor is already established, and my ceiling is now limitless. What more could you ask for? The results are already showing…

 

 

Why you could pass me up: “To be honest, I don’t see many negatives to my profile. You’d have to really like whoever else you’re passing me up for. Maybe the death of the 3-down RB could make those rare commodities more appealing. But you’ve seen the bust rate of rushers. Side with this ultimate combination of safety and upside, and know your ever-important first round investment will yield big time.

Not that I enjoy talking about myself or anything, but you need an opinion other than mine, how about a Hall of Fame wideout in Michael Irvin or Richard Sherman? Pardon my french, but both got on their knees and opened wide earlier this offseason. Some nuggets:

  • “We don’t know what the ceiling is,” Irvin said, via the Texan’s official website. “You see the skill set, where he can catch footballs from anyplace in the world. There is no telling what the ceiling can be. He’ll be rewriting a lot of records in the NFL.”
  • “I would not be able to do it,” Irvin conceded. “Whenever you brought in another quarterback, I played with a lot less confidence. What he does is just flat out incredible.”
  • “He’s a dog,” Sherman said. “He goes after it every play. He brings it every play. Every down. He’s a very unique talent. He’s explosive in and out of his breaks. He puts his own flavor on his routes. It’s a challenge.”

Pass on me at your own risk.”

5. Le’veon Bell

Recognizing The Wolf’s pathetic state of being after DeAndre’s ramble, Le’veon promises to keep it quick.

Why I should go #2: “All of those things you said about David Johnson? You know, versatile skillset, every-down back, explosive offense, massive workload, rarest commodity? Yeah, those all apply to me too. But I’ve done it for a full season, he hasn’t. No one could touch me that year, 2014. Plus my vision and patience are better than his. Quite insulting to be below him and the others, tbh.”

Why you could pass me up: “Ok, ok I get it. I’m coming off a torn MCL surgery from 2015. I hyperextended my knee in Week 17 against the Bengals and missed the playoffs + Pro Bowl that year. I pulled a lisfranc in in my foot in the 2013 preseason. Plus I had a concussion that season, and was suspended early in 2015.

This totals 13 missed game in 3 years — I’ve still played in 73% though, and when I’m on the field I always produce.  I mean, 2215 total yards, 11 total TDs, and 83 catches in my 2014 full season — that’s 370 PPR points. That’s 54 more than Devonta’s position leading 316 this year. These points from a rare source carried teams, and if you’ve seen my Twitter you know I’m running and will be full speed come 2015. Pass me at your own peril.”

6. Julio Jones

A calm, but visibly frustrated Julio Jones walks in, immediately objecting to his low ranking. The Wolf’s hungover head has had enough, but Julio takes no sympathy. 

Why I should go #2: “I don’t feel like 136 catches, 1,871 yards and 8 TDs need much explanation, particularly in PPR leagues. But you’ve got me all the way down here, so apparently you need your head checked and a little more information:

  • I only dipped below double digit PPR points 1 time in a clunker against Houston.
  • I only scored 15 or more PPR points in all but 3 contests, or 81% of the time.
  • I scored above 23 points in 9 games (56% of games), and gave you week-winning 32+ point efforts in 4 contests.

This is what happens when you’re the X Receiver in Kyle Shanahan’s “funnel-targets- to-the-top-dog” system that’s made 113 catch, 1,346 yard stars out of mediocre talent like Pierre Garçon. Only I’m an elite, prototypical WR1. Year 2 I’ll be even more acclimated and offer 2,000 yard upside. I’m the picture of high-floor, high-ceiling.”

Why you could pass me up: “The only reason I can imagine being down at 6 is injury. Sure, I’ve missed time in 3 out of 5 professional seasons. But consider this. Only one of those season’s was a true scare, missing 11 in 2013. But in total, I’ve only missed 15 out of 80 games, 18.75% of my career. The majority of those other 71.25% have been high quality. Wake up Wolf. This is dumb.”

After Julio’s verbal thrashing, The Wolf shamefully slinks back under the covers, hoping that Sailor J’s Exorcism will end soon. As another ferocious huuuuuuuhhhh echoes off the porcelain,  his wishes appear futile. 

 

Author

  • Founder of Roto Street Journal. Lover of workhorse backs, target hog wideouts, and Game of Thrones. Aspiring to be the "Brady" and "Leo" of the fantasy universe.

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