The Leek: Toilet Bowl Champion Opts For Alternative Punishment

By Chase Marquette-Gaines
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Updated: December 25, 2021

A good game plan requires balance. So to prevent yourself from getting overloaded by information to help your fantasy team, we’re proud to provide you info that won’t help you whatsoever, every Saturday morning during the 2021 season.

The staff here at The Leek love a good last-place punishment story, so here’s a conversation we picked up concerning a reportedly conceited basement dweller from last season:

“So bro, you uh, gonna do that alternative punishment then or what?”

“Does it have to be this? Like can’t we talk about any other options?”

“Alright, I mean, if you don’t want to take the alternative, we can always—“

“No-no, no. Fine. But c’mon guys, why would you tell him, you know I just like to talk shit when I’m drunk, I was just fuckin’ around, you know? C’mon,”

“Mmmm, I don’t know, man, you seemed rea-a-ally brutally honest. I think you meant what you said.”

“Ughhhh. Alright, fine.”

“Well let’s see it then.”

“Right now?!”

“Yes, right now. Let me see like the intro. You said you had one, right?”

“Y-yeah, okay. So, ‘A good, game plan, requires balance. So to prevent,’ dude, this is stupid. I feel so STUPID!”

“You gotta do it, man!”

“Ahh there has to be another way!”

“Chase, do it……or we’re telling Wolf ev-e-rything you said about him.”

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed the series!

Chase Marquette-Gaines

Driven by profit, has the lobes for business. Prioritizes anchors as part of a diversified portfolio. Seeks to be the first hue-mon to become the Grand Nagus. On Twitter @ChaseM_G

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